It's been a while, and I've decided to finally take the time to write in my journal. You know, in a way, I wish I never would have started this journal. Because ever since I started this blog, I haven't been writing in my regular journal, except for on rare occassions. In fact, since the year 2006 began, I think I only have 3 entries to my regular journal. I don't like that. The reason I started a journal was to be able to have an outlet for all of the emotions I was experiencing and had a hard time sharing with others. But as time has passed, I've come to appreciate my journal for a new reason. My journal gives me an opportunity to look back and remember how I felt when I was going through different times of my life. Granted I can look back on this journal, but to be honest, I leave soooo much out of this blog that it's not a true reflection of my life. Ah well... such is life... I feel like writing, and I'm at work so this is really the only place I can record my thoughts right now.

Reflections on Spring Semester 2006

As soon as I moved back home, I was of course flooded with the usual questions from all the people I haven't seen in a while, with the most frequently asked question being, "How was your semester?" And as usual, I respond with, "I was ready for a break, but the semester was really good! [insert huge smile and fake enthusiasm here]" Today someone asked me this question yet again, and I finally started thinking to myself, "How was my semester?" In all honesty, I don't really know. I guess you could say it must have been a mediocre semester at best, because I have absolutely no emotion towards it. There were lots of good things that happened, and lots of bad things that happened. It was just another semester. In fact, I don't really remember much of it... haha. Maybe it's because I was on my death bed for over two weeks, and so busy I didn't have time to breathe for the rest of it.
I didn't really have any class that I particularly enjoyed. Last semester I LOVED my Psych classes, so I had something to look forward to. This semester, my math classes were decent, my education class was RIDICULOUS, my religion class was fairly interesting, and my astronomy class was a huge disappointment (who would have thought you would only look at constellations twice when you have class in the PLANETARIUM?). I had to study a lot, but for the first time ever, I didn't do a lot of my homework for my math classes. That's not really like me, and led to me having to pull an all nighter before my stats final, which I felt the effects of for the next week.
As far as my jobs go- I definitely had the good with the bad. Working in the Math Department was fine. Coaching basketball didn't end quite as well as I had hoped it would, mostly due to key injuries at the end of the season- but it was still A LOT of fun. Definitely a good group of girls, and coaching with Dunn... there's never a dull moment... lol. I love that guy and have missed him a lot ever since hoops ended. Volleyball was definitely a learning experience. My team ended the season 5-30. Yes... that's five wins and thirty losses. Makes me look like a horrible coach, I know. But I really don't look at the record as a reflection of my team. I had three girls on my team who had never played volleyball before, and the rest of them only had one year of junior high ball under their belts. Everybody got equal playing time, and I really think they learned a lot about the game. And let me tell you- they taught me a lot, especially when it comes to patience. Even though it was a long, tough season, I definitely think it was good for me. I learned a lot, and I got to have my first experience as a head coach. Then there's track... now that's a different story. Going into the season, I really didn't know how much I was going to enjoy track. But let me tell you- this has been one of the greatest experiences. I absolutely love it. I love the girls on my team, I love the guys I coach with, I just love everything about it. I've learned a lot and I've had a blast while doing so. I'm really not looking forward to the season ending soon, but I am looking foward to doing it again next year (perks of coaching at a private school... none of the teachers can bid on my job!). Hopefully my schedule will allow me to coach again... just track next year though. Doing volleyball and track was way too much for me. Not only was I crazy busy all week, but then I would coach anywhere from 8-16 hours every weekend... I didn't have enough time to enjoy my life.
Speaking of not having time to enjoy my life... friendships is one area where I think I lacked this semester. I just didn't have time to devote enough time to my friends, and most of them were busy as well. Halley and I talked a lot, but that was easy because we lived together. But even the girls that lived in my suite- I didn't talk to them nearly as much as I would have liked to. And spending time with them was rare. Having lunch with Beth one or two times a week helped a lot, but I ddn't even get to spend as much time with her and the other girls and all the guys as I would have liked. Even mine and TJ's spooning time suffered :( And my friends from high school- I was not a good friend to any of them. Lauren and I talked and still do talk on a very regular basis. Bridget and I keep in touch, but I can't even remember the last time I saw her. Meghan and I keep in touch, and we definitely make it a point to see each other when she's home. As for the rest of the girls and guys- I talk to them every once in a while, but not nearly as much as I would like to. I haven't spent much time with Kyle at all and I guess the Schuler's are really the only guys that I see on a fairly regular basis. I don't know- I just think that doing so much this semester took its toll on my friendships. :-/ I still love everyone to death, I just don't feel that I was as good a friend as I should have been.
As far as the men in my life goes... I'm single and I'm perfectly content with where I'm at. I finally put everything that happened between Jeremy and I behind me . I had feelings for him for a LONG time after things ended. And after I finally got over my feelings for him, some stuff happened and I was pretty angry with him for a while. I didn't handle things as well as I should have, but we talked and it's all behind me now. Maybe he used me, or maybe he was being honest and he didn't- but I'm finally at a point where I don't care anymore. Whatever happened, happened. It was a good learning experience, and it brought me to where I'm at today- and I couldn't be happier. He's a great guy and I still value him as a friend, but I'm glad that we didn't end up together. Things worked out perfectly! :)
I don't mean to be so depressing- there were definitely some fun times this semester. The two week celebration of mine and Halley's birthdays would have to be at the top of the list. We had an absolute blast. All of the stuff we did are probably some of my favorite memories from this semester... Cleveland with the girls, YSG, the Steelers and the Sig Tau house for my birthday, and then the Mexican restaurant and a crazy night at the Sig Tau house for Halley's birthday- all with all the people we love! It was sooo fun. Spring break- despite all the horrible things that happened- was also a good time. I love the beach! I also got to spend more time with my cousin Brie than usual... we went to a lot of the Steelhounds games, and that was a lot of fun. Watching the guys at Greek Sing was a lot of fun too... they were absolutely awesome. The girls night at Leah's and the Spice of Life party at Jess' were also a ton of fun. I just love my friends!
Overall... the more I've written, the more I realize that I did have a lot of fun this semester. I love the people I live with, I love the people I hang out with, and I love the way things are right now.

I do have more to talk about- but it's almost time for me to leave work so I will have to shut up for now ;) I think this post has been long enough anyways. More about things going on in my family and what this summer is going to be like will come later...