Warning: In this post, I am about to make a huge generalization. First of all, when I say men, I am referring to single men, around the ages of 19-25. I realize that there are plenty of men that meet these requirements, but are exceptions to the generalizations I will make. However, for the sake of my thoughts at the current moment, I'm going to talk about this group as a whole, ignoring the exceptions. Those of you who actually read my blog and fall into the category of exceptions, please ignore everything I say. You deserve a gold star for being the way you are.


This is what confuses me about men...

To start with, I am going to explore the idea of casual dating relationships. When I refer to casual dating relationships, I basically mean hanging out with a member of the opposite sex, sexual activity of some sort is involved, but there is no commitment at all. And for the sake of the perspective I am currently taking, there is no desire for commitment on the male side of this relationship. Now, if I were to survey the male population on characteristics they were looking for in a female, for this type of relationship, I believe these would probably be the top two:

1. Puts out
2. Is skilled at all or most activities included in characteristic number 1.

Note: Good looking with a nice body are always a plus.

Maybe I'm overlooking something, but for the most part, I really don't think personality, values, future goals, or anything of that sort factors into the equation when men are looking for said "casual dating relationships." But here is the part where men start to confuse me. If I were to take a similar survey, but ask men for qualities they would like in a future wife, I'm going to take a random guess, and say that this list of characteristics would differ greatly from the one for "casual dating relationships". Sure, you still want someone who is good in bed, but I'm guessing you're going to be looking for a little more than that. And if you have the bar set rather high when it comes to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, then she's probably not going to be impressed with your extensive history. Yes, all of your male friends may think you are a champ, but when you do find someone that has the characteristics you want in a wife, she's probably not going to be overly excited about all of your previous "casual dating relationships".
And I can understand, I'm sure these relationships are fun. You get all the "bachelor living" out of your system, you have lots of experiences. I'm not saying that having a few of these in your lifetime is a bad thing. But where do you draw the line? When does it become too much? And is it really worth it? If you don't really care about all the girls that you are spending time with, why are you giving them that part of yourself? The physical aspect of a relationship is a way to express your feelings for someone. If you detach the emotions from it, it doesn't mean anywhere near as much as it should. If these girls aren't people that you have legitimate feelings for, and aren't people you could at least see yourself being in a relationship with, why are you wasting your time?
And maybe I'm an absolute idiot. Maybe I've got this all wrong. Maybe the idea of these "casual dating relationships" isn't what I think it is. Maybe you only spend time with women you could see yourself having true feelings for. Or maybe... I'm completely overestimating the integrity of the male species, and they wouldn't care if sex was the only thing their wife was good for. Or maybe you don't want to get married, in which case, you are one of the exceptions that were noted in the warning at the beginning of this blog. Whatever the case may be, I'm still confused.
A lot of times I don't think I'm ready for a relationship. I know that if the right person wanted to make things work, I would give it a shot. But let's say, for the sake of argument, that I'm set on the whole no serious relationship thing. If I started hanging out with someone in a casual manner, I would want this "friendship" to be working towards something. I would not want it to be random fun times, while he is having lots of other random fun times with other women. I am the kind of person who does not waste my time hanging out with people that I don't truly care about. If I spend time with a guy, I'm investing something, and I have genuine feelings for him, and I could potentially see things working out with him. Why doesn't the male mind work like this? Why are guys able to completely detach their emotions from the physical aspect of a relationship? This frustrates me.

So I guess my question to the men of the world is this: Why are you wasting your time? What are you doing with your lives and when is it going to end? When will you have had enough fun?

And my challenge to the men of the world: Start thinking about what you're doing. Ask yourself the questions that I just posed. Start looking at women and seeing them as the person that they are, instead of just how much fun you can have with them. Because maybe then, you will start seeing the real qualities that each one possesses. Find a woman who will challenge you. Stop looking for the easy way out and start seriously thinking about what you want for the rest of your life. And don't give up what could be a great opportunity, just so that you can continue having your fun. "Casual dating relationships" will always be around. She won't be.


[steps off soapbox] Ok, I'm done now.