wow... what a weekend.

Saturday I woke up to my phone ringing. It was my mom. She was sobbing on the other end of the phone. She said my Grandpa had taken a turn for the worse and the doctors said he wasn't going to make it. We all needed to come say our goodbyes. I called Halley and she went to pick up my sister at home to bring her up to the hospital. For awhile it was just my Mom, Dad, sister and I in the room. It was so hard. I completely lost it. I've never lost anyone close to me, let alone a grandparent. It took me forever to actually be able to talk to him and tell him I loved him. It was like I didn't want to have to say goodbye. My brother came in from Canton, so the five us spent some time with my Grandpa together. Then my sister and I went back to the dorms to pack up some of my stuff before coming back to stay in the waiting room for awhile. Halley ended up calling off work to come sit with us. I can't even begin to tell you how much that meant to me. She even went and got lunch for my family since everyone had been there for so long. She is such an amazing friend. By mid-afternoon, my Aunt Mary and Aunt Ruth and both my pastors were at the hospital. My Grandma isn't able to be there because she just got a chemo treatment on Tuesday and her immune system is so low that it would be incredibly dangerous for her... especially with all of the infections that have taken over my Grandpa's body. I can't even imagine how hard that must be for her. They've been married for 54 years and now she can't even be by his side to say goodbye. :'( I ended up leaving the hospital a little after 4 to go spend some time with my Grandma. My Grandpa ended up making it through the night. In fact, yesterday they said he was more stable than he had been on Saturday, but that was mostly due to medications. The doctors told us that statistically, he has less than a one percent chance of survival... it's only a matter of time. It could happen today, it could happen a week from now. But they really don't think he's going to make it. The whole waiting thing is tough. When I'm not with my family, I dread a phone call from one of them. At church yesterday a good friend of my parents was anointed in place of my Grandpa. The whole church gathered around and prayed. It was pretty awesome. Pastor Ron talked about how he had a really hard time seeing my Grandpa like that, but we have to remember that God is still able. God is more than capable of performing miracles... and as long as my Grandpa is still alive, we can't lose faith. I struggled with this... it made me question my faith. I do believe that God can heal my Grandpa, I really do. But when I go in that hospital room and hold his hand and look at him, it's hard for me to imagine him ever being well again. My Grandpa was so alive before he went in for his knee surgery. He was working at the baseball fields, involved in a bunch of organizations, at all of our events... everything. I don't know... this whole situation is just so hard on my whole family. :(
On the other hand though, all of my friend have been amazing through everything. I am truly blessed.
I think I'm going to live at home for most of this week. I would just rather be with my family right now. And because of the fact that I've been so stressed and emotional, things that wouldn't usually bother me have been getting on my nerves like crazy, and I've been snapping on people for no reason. Basically, right now, I am a pretty tough person to live with... and at least at home my whole family is the same way, so we can just lean on each other.
Well... I think I'm going to go to the fair for a little bit with my parents, and then probably head up to the hospital a little bit later.
Thank you all for all of your support and prayers. If you're reading this- I love you and I thank God for the blessing that you have been in my life!