It's 2:00 a.m. I have to get up in four and a half hours to study some more for the test that I am completely unprepared for and the speech that I am also completely unprepared for. I should be in bed. But I'm not, because there is way too much on my mind. And if I was in bed, I would be laying there thinking about everything I wanted to write down. So here we go...
Change. It happens. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. But change is not an excuse to give up. Things change, circumstances change, people change, life changes. But you should take that change and run with it. Don't let change hold you back. Don't be afraid of change. So maybe people in your life change. That doesn't mean that your relationship with them is over, and it doesn't mean your relationship with them will never be the same or as strong as it once was. It just means it will be different. But maybe that different could be good. Maybe a change, a controversy, a challenge will strengthen it. But you have to give it that chance. You can't be so afraid of change that you run away from it.
I have finally realized that I'm not afraid of change anymore. Yes, there are quite a few things in my life right now that aren't going very well. But I have finally realized, that for the first time in my life, despite my circumstances, I am happy with who I am. I have confidence in myself and in where God has placed me right now. I am tired of letting my circumstances tear me down. I have always allowed the circumstances in my life to affect my self confidence. But I don't feel like that anymore. For the first time ever, even though I may not be happy about some of the stuff that is happening right now, I am happy with me. And isn't that what matters most? Sure, life is handing me one lemon after another...but at least I can handle those trials with confidence. There is a quote that says something along the lines of, "For people to have the chance to walk all over you, you have to lie down first". I know that's not exactly right, but it's something like that. And I'm not lying down anymore.
I'm not going to pretend that everything is perfect in my life. There is a lot that I'm stressed and worried about right now. I'm really struggling in one of my classes, and I have test in there on Wednesday. MathFest is Thursday, which means lots of work for me. I'm still coaching basketball, and I just found out that I'm going to be having my own volleyball team instead of assisting someone, that will add even more responsibilities (which I'm very excited about this opportunity...I just found out yesterday and I was soooo thrilled!). I'm also worried about some things going on with friendships. And even though I'm not heartbroken anymore, there are still some emotional struggles that I'm dealing with when it comes to that aspect of my life. But you know what? I know that all of this will eventually get better. They are only temporary circumstancs that will be gone before I know it. And I will have come out of each challenge stronger. That's the method behind God's madness right? I wouldn't have any strength or faith at all if I was never tested.
So I guess the moral of the story tonight is to embrace change. Don't give up on things that you know are worth it just because they have changed. Change is not an excuse to quit, it is an opportunity to improve upon what you already have.
Ok...I think that's it for now...I'm going to go to sleep.

**Quote of the Day**
"The art of living does not consist in preserving and clinging to a particular mode of happiness, but in allowing happiness to change its form without being disappointed by the change; happiness, like a child, must be allowed to grow up." ~Charles L. Morgan